Potty Training: AKA Every Kid Is Different, and Other Ways That Life Isn't Fair

So we're back to the potty training thing again; this time with our daughter. Can I just start by saying that she's growing up WAAAAAAYYYYYY too fast!!! It seems like only yesterday I was working on this with the Frat Boys!

So, I figured this was going to be a walk in the park. She's more communicative than the boys were at that age. In fact, I had an argument with her one afternoon because she decided to have a tea party with her dolls rather than take a nap. She informed me that she was a big girl, and no longer needed to nap, thank you very much. I calmly replied that if she was a big girl, then she needed to start using the potty. She replied, "no mummy. I need a diaper, I'm a baby". We went back and forth on this for 20 minutes!!! TWENTY! I was effectively trounced by a toddler!!! She doesn't want to sit in a wet, or worse...STINTY (she can't say K's, and it cracks me up) diaper. Why the hell doesn't this kid want to use the potty?!?!?

I've tried all of the same tricks I employed with her brothers, and then some. Sticker chart? Nope! Treat jar? No dice! Pink nail polish? Not a chance! Panties with Elsa, Anna, and Olaf on them...the Holy Grail of Disney Princesses? Not on your life, mum! I even bought packages of princesses for her to play with. She got the three she really wanted, and that was that! The rest are collecting dust under our bathroom vanity!

I'm so done with diapers! I've been changing diapers, and wiping asses for almost 6 years solid now! She's going to be three soon! What is the holdup? I suppose her brothers were over 4 by the time they decided they were ready. I suppose she has a new baby cousin, and she's feeling like she's not quite ready to not be the baby anymore. She likes lying on her change pad, and informing anyone that enters the room that she needs "pie-see" (privacy) while she's having her privates polished by yours truly. It's not like a few more boxes of diapers is going to be the death of us after the thousands that we've already spent. (Remind me again, why we didn't go with cloth....what were we thinking?!?!?)

I need to remind myself not to push her. She's a very independent little creature (not unlike her mum), and will do things in her own bloody time! I guess until then I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, and hoping that she'll be ready to use the potty sooner rather than later!

Potty Training AKA: The Shittiest Part of the Toddler Years

Let's talk about potty training, shall we? Before we get too deep into things, let me just say that I'm no expert in the field. If I was, it wouldn't have taken until my twins were over four for me to figure shit out! Now, to be fair, my daughter was born just after my boys' third birthday. Not gonna lie...they were doing pretty well up until that point...but then there was a new baby in the house, and mum was tired. ALL. THE. TIME. Let's just blame things stalling out on the baby! HA!

Fast forward...the boys are now four, refusing to do anything even remotely resembling using the potty. I'm up to my freaking eyeballs in dirty diapers, and totally at a loss on what to try next. I was going crazy. Internet to the rescue!!! I pored over countless articles about how difficult it is to potty train boys, and various tricks to try. Sticker charts, giving it more time, going pantless, going nude, cheerios, rewards...I tried it all, and nothing worked. One of the boys had a shitload of stickers on his chart, whereas the other boy had none, and didn't give a shit (LITERALLY!!). I tried the whole naked thing (thankfully it was summer, as we live in Canada, and let's face it, it gets frickin cold on the prairies in the winter), and just ended up washing my floors an awful lot. My jar of M&M's was only being eaten by my husband, as he figured he needed a treat every time he used the bathroom. I had given them plenty of time....the only smart thing I had done up to this point, was getting them to use the regular toilet. If I can stress anything, it's to use the regular toilet! I didn't want them to figure out going on a tiny, plastic potty, only to have to retrain them later on because they were terrified of the giant, porcelain pot. 

Another few months went by, and finally, some success! Both boys were peeing on the potty on a regular basis. One was pooping most of the time, but I still couldn't get the other to poop. Seeing as one of the boys had so many stickers on his chart, we decided to try letting him trade them in for a reward. He got to pick out a toy next time we went to the store, which only served to infuriate his brother that was getting nothing. Screaming, crying tantrum ensued, and one of us had to take him out to the truck while the other stayed inside to finish up our shopping. BACKFIRE!!! 

That night, while we were talking things over, we realized that the boys weren't drawing a connection between the stickers, and the reward. It was then that we decided to go and buy a bunch of cheap Hot Wheels cars to stash under the bathroom sink, so that they would have instant gratification for their efforts. 

We bought 30 cars, and started handing them out to D every time he would poop. Four cars later, G decided he wanted one of those cars, and finally pooped on the toilet!!!! From there on out, we had a few accidents, but for the most part, they had figured it out! I'm sure you've seen The Price Is Right....well, let me tell you....every trip to the potty was like a Showcase Showdown! Every poop earned the boys.......A NEW CAR!!! Suddenly I was the Rod Roddy of the Potty! It worked though! Once the new cars ran out, I just started recycling them at night. I'd refill my bin after the kids were in bed each night, and have a full stash to start fresh with the next day. The boys were getting to the point where they'd call me for help when they were finished, and the following conversation would take place:

"Good job, bud! Are you all done?"

"Car...???"

"Yes, you'll get a car."

"All done!!"

It took a few months of constantly rewarding, and after the accidents stopped, so did the cars. I'm so happy to be down to one kid in diapers. She's going to be two next spring, and wants to do everything her brothers do, so I'm hoping it won't be much longer before I have her trained as well. She's already peed on the potty a few times, likely by fluke, but no poops yet.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go change a diaper....